emptiness

I woke up today with the worst feeling of emptiness in my heart. The last 5 days, I was with my clone, my other half, my partner in crime. But today, I find myself tossing and turning in a lonely room and wake up to nothing but a gloomy day and no one to set it right. It did not help that I had a weird dream where I was with him.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know how I will get through this. I know I will. I know I have to. But I have no idea how. When we are together, life makes sense to me. We are each other's companion. And the first year of our relationship, we were exactly that as we went through surviving Hawaii together. Then necessity forced us into this long distance relationship where we live in our respective places feeling like we're not quite all there. Apart from each other, we are good people who can live to get through our lives. However, together, we are even better and life is more than just getting through the day, but is more fulfilling and fun and all those wonderful things.

We have a year and a half left until he graduates. From there, we will figure out how to be together. But this last half of a year has been torture. How will a year and a half get by?

I know the Lord has a plan for us. We both need to grow separately so He can do something in each of our lives. But it's hard to think that when all I feel is incomplete. I know I can make it through, but I don't see it being a happy occasion.

Greg, I miss you so much. :(