the darnest thing about memories

why can't i get over you?  why can't i get over this?

the memories crowd my mind.  

and i miss the places, i miss just being there.  it is amazing that God never allowed our paths to cross considering...

monday all over again

it's funny how since moving back to the mainland, i've learn the true meaning of hating mondays.....

another day

all the days since greg left has been just plain depressing...

actually even longer than that.. all the days before he came were just as bad...

please let today be different.  i'm tired of being sad.

the art of introspection

something quite foreign to me these days.

it's strange because when i was younger, i could create an entire short story from a singular moment in time.  have i grown so jaded that the walls surrounding me are built thicker and i can't even get through to my own guarded home?  

this is my battle this coming year.  so far i've felt incomplete, empty... and am incapable of figuring out why.  perhaps if i could overcome the barrier and finally get to myself again, then it'll be easier to figure out the issue and then figure out the steps to solving it.

way to break a heart

"Mousie, do you miss Ms. Faye?"

I was finally able to catch up with my former assistant today.  We had a really good chat about the school I worked for and about my job now.  However, the biggest thing that hit me was her little anecdote on one of my little cuties from last year.

There was a mouse puppet I used during circle time whom I called Mousie.  They recently watched the Jim Gamble show like they do every year and the puppet came to mind.  She finally unearthed it and showed my former students.  One of them asked the question posted above.

Omg.  It's enough to make me cry.  I really miss my little ones from last year.  My job in hawaii was so much like a family that I got really attached to the kids more and to the parents and coworkers.  It's so hard not to think of them and miss them considering just how unfriendly the people can be at my work.  Or at least, how much they are not as open or sincere no matter how much my boss insists that we are a family.  Maybe mainlanders just have a different idea of how family is supposed to be.  

Anyway, that's my spiel for the day.  :(  I'm hoping to get to visit before the kids leave.  Maybe April.  I hope april.  We shall see...

on this, my quarter of a century bday...

all i can think of is how much i miss greg.  the last two weeks have been amazing.  but then all my minutes with him are amazing.  

Why did I agree to send him on a plane today?  By far the most depressing bday, though not for the usual reason of getting old.  

However, it ended on a good note with my students in hawaii and my former assistant calling!  and my friends from near and far sending me their wishes and a good old embarrassing restaurant birthday chant.  hurrah!

so 30 minutes left of my holiday.  i think it's time to be the old lady that i am and head to bed.