Finally got around to watch Pushing Daisies. Happy surprise: Kristin Chenoweth is in it!!!! =)
I love her voice and she did a short singing thing in the second episode.. to my delight! It's a pretty funny little clip and reminded me of this sappy but great song as well. So thought I'd just share. You can watch the clip here since I can't embed the video.
Episode Lyrics to Hopelessly Devoted to You
Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
I know, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' left for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted...
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you
18 September 2010
06 September 2010
The thing with a new life...
...is that you kind of miss your old one.
When I returned from Perú, I knew I'd be a different person. Not in the sense that I would change personalities, rather acquire a new perspective on life. Heck, that's why I chose to leave the country in the first place! I even wrote the following in my journal as I flew over Ecuador: "All that's left is for me to remember what drove me to be 'brave' and fly to this place alone. The one everyone knows is 'learn Spanish & volunteer'. My personal reason stems from needing to gain confidence, spend time away... for clarity... and mostly to become more in tune with myself. It's funny how only when I'm away from home do I seem to get back to being myself."
From time to time I wondered whether I deviated from the "me" that arrived in Perú to the one that stared back in the mirror. There were even a few failed attempts at scheduling time to ponder on life decisions. However, I found myself too busy exploring and enjoying my present lifetime, pushing aside the worries of the future... to the future. The next thing I knew, I was saying heartbreaking farewells to dear, new friends and I was once again in the shoes of my old life... as if 2 months was a distant dream.
It amuses me is how imperceptibly change occurs. What eluded my notice all those times I searched in my new surroundings had become glaringly obvious as I entered into "reverse culture shock". For all my concerns of not reaching the goals set, I had landed to a point far beyond, creating an unforeseen dilemma of how it would fit into the life I left behind.
The first few weeks back was horrendously difficult. Not only was I dealing with withdrawals for the friends and life I created as well as navigating my former life with a new mentality, but the people around me struggled to understand the person that returned in my place. What was more frustrating is that I could not even help them understand because we were now thinking on two differing planes, neither able to see the other.
It has now been 5 weeks since I returned. Things have slowly settled into something, though I am unsure as to what it is. I've made even more decisions that threw me into a path that only God knows the ending to... and I am content. On this side, not knowing what is in front of me, I find myself craving this challenge whereas the old me would have clutched on to anything comfortable. Still, those old instincts have not completely disappeared. In quiet moments when the touch of uncertainty becomes too strong, I ponder at simply making things "easier" and returning my life to exactly the way it was before I left the country. I do miss the simplicity of knowing more or less where I was headed for. Maybe I can still be content in it.
But then, I remember why I even decided to spend two months in a far and unknown place. Where I was before I left was not where I wanted to be. Chickening out and simply settling into that old, cozy shell would be a blasphemy on everything that I had learned and accomplished over the summer.
So here I am now. It is 17 hours until the start of my final year of grad school... for once, absolutely having no idea of what the road ahead leads... yet having a clearer idea of where I want it to. I only pray that I don't lose courage and "settle" because there is something else amazing waiting down the road. And what else do we really live for but to continue learning, growing and most of all, trust in God's sovereignty... that all does work for the good.
I can't wait.
When I returned from Perú, I knew I'd be a different person. Not in the sense that I would change personalities, rather acquire a new perspective on life. Heck, that's why I chose to leave the country in the first place! I even wrote the following in my journal as I flew over Ecuador: "All that's left is for me to remember what drove me to be 'brave' and fly to this place alone. The one everyone knows is 'learn Spanish & volunteer'. My personal reason stems from needing to gain confidence, spend time away... for clarity... and mostly to become more in tune with myself. It's funny how only when I'm away from home do I seem to get back to being myself."
From time to time I wondered whether I deviated from the "me" that arrived in Perú to the one that stared back in the mirror. There were even a few failed attempts at scheduling time to ponder on life decisions. However, I found myself too busy exploring and enjoying my present lifetime, pushing aside the worries of the future... to the future. The next thing I knew, I was saying heartbreaking farewells to dear, new friends and I was once again in the shoes of my old life... as if 2 months was a distant dream.
It amuses me is how imperceptibly change occurs. What eluded my notice all those times I searched in my new surroundings had become glaringly obvious as I entered into "reverse culture shock". For all my concerns of not reaching the goals set, I had landed to a point far beyond, creating an unforeseen dilemma of how it would fit into the life I left behind.
The first few weeks back was horrendously difficult. Not only was I dealing with withdrawals for the friends and life I created as well as navigating my former life with a new mentality, but the people around me struggled to understand the person that returned in my place. What was more frustrating is that I could not even help them understand because we were now thinking on two differing planes, neither able to see the other.
It has now been 5 weeks since I returned. Things have slowly settled into something, though I am unsure as to what it is. I've made even more decisions that threw me into a path that only God knows the ending to... and I am content. On this side, not knowing what is in front of me, I find myself craving this challenge whereas the old me would have clutched on to anything comfortable. Still, those old instincts have not completely disappeared. In quiet moments when the touch of uncertainty becomes too strong, I ponder at simply making things "easier" and returning my life to exactly the way it was before I left the country. I do miss the simplicity of knowing more or less where I was headed for. Maybe I can still be content in it.
But then, I remember why I even decided to spend two months in a far and unknown place. Where I was before I left was not where I wanted to be. Chickening out and simply settling into that old, cozy shell would be a blasphemy on everything that I had learned and accomplished over the summer.
So here I am now. It is 17 hours until the start of my final year of grad school... for once, absolutely having no idea of what the road ahead leads... yet having a clearer idea of where I want it to. I only pray that I don't lose courage and "settle" because there is something else amazing waiting down the road. And what else do we really live for but to continue learning, growing and most of all, trust in God's sovereignty... that all does work for the good.
I can't wait.
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